I really am growing up

To my astonishment, my mom announced how my birthday is exactly forty days away. Typically, I count days till my birthday. Even last year I was hyped up for my birthday. This year though, I even forgot my birthday was nearing. Reason? Well, I suppose I am not excited about being 19. My life is not exactly sorted you know. I should be in university now but I put it off. I should do something productive while my time off but oh well, I am mostly home reading chick lits and romantic novels. I think reading is much better than watching television. So to an extent, I am proud that I gave up on my obsession of television shows and being a couch potato. My university starts on September. To be honest, I am not looking forward to University. I find it all quite pointless. 4 years of schooling, a degree and then a job? Or as my original plan states I will enter law school at the age of 24. But, really I am seeing most of my dreams shattering in front of my eyes. I am in debt, my life is a mess, I cut off from most of my friends because well, they are all toxic. I cannot say I regret having no friends. But, I cannot say I want to spend the rest of my life in some law firm with a degree earning a few thousand bucks. I wish I could do what I wanted. Maybe life would be easier then. Maybe I would be more excited about my birthday.

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