Drafts, overdrafts, cancelled cards ..

One of my cards have been cancelled leaving me with a $400 something debt. The problem is, I don’t have a job. 
However, I babysit once in a while and earn some money. 
My second step was to pay $ 42.95 towards my bill. I know I have a long way to go but still. 
Something is better than nothing.


I am often left wondering what life would

I am often left wondering what life would be like if my father were alive. I never took interest in many things I take interest in now and I would love to have a conversation with my father regarding those. The reality that so much changes over the course of two years still is very hard to accept for myself. Over the last few months, I found relief in reading, writing and more reading and writing. I withdrew myself completely from my social life. My psychiatrist believes it is a sign of depression yet again but there is nothing that makes me happier than reading. The sad part is life never goes the way you plan it, sometimes it might but that may be a rare occasion or two. I just wish my father lived life the way he deserved to, seeing his children grow up, seeing the many faces of adulthood and young adulthood in both me and my brother. I would give anything to get my father back. But, that’s the game of destiny. Don’t get me wrong, I always give thanks to almighty for giving a shelter above my head, for introducing me to things I truly enjoy and the few people who brighten up my world. But still. There is an incomplete hole in my life. I understood the reality of life – be open to changes- at a relatively young age. I am thankful for this lesson. I will always teach my children to never take anything or anyone for granted.