What is fashion for me?

Fashion once used to be so important for me, to some extent it still is ! I would still invest my money on something that is “happening”. I am not ashamed or anything but I would really like to experiment with my style,outfits, accessories and such. But, I live in Canada and Canada is AMAZING for fashion if you are willing to invest on winter garments which I absolutely dread.
I wish I lived somewhere where the weather was warmer and nicer. I would really like to experiment with fall, spring and summer outfits.
This year has been a pretty crappy year for me. I mean it was good because I gave a lot of time to myself, but fashion wise it sucked.
I am thinking I will buy a sewing machine and start sewing. wouldn’t it be cool?
i was on the subway the other day, I couldn’t help over hearing how a woman was boasting about learning sewing by herself!
I think it would be amazing. What do you think?

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Imperfection 1 – my academic status

I am a year out of high school, and I can very proudly say I have still not decided where I want to head further. I like photography but I don’t see myself being a full time photographer in the future. I like makeup , fashion but I don’t see a career in any of them. I also like reading/ writing but I cannot imagine myself being a primary school teacher or even a freelance writer. So what do I do? Go to University, get a degree and get a job. Well, that’s ideal, considering my mom would give up anything to send me to any post secondary institution.
Despite my mom’s assumption that my academic status of not going anywhere is pulling me back from my social and regular life, I can PROUDLY say I have never been so  proud of myself as I am today. I do not regret not going to a regular post secondary institution right now. I have read too many books, talked to too many people and really came out of the “time is slipping away” mentality my mom goes on and on about.
I do consider it an imperfection because I still don’t know what I want to do. I find it completely useless to pursue a degree in something that I might not like or even worse get enrolled, lose interest and fail courses ..eventually drop out!
” Always do what you want to do”
” live for YOURSELF”
” live for people in need”
” do something for the WORLD”

Do I think education and a degree is useless? OF COURSE NOT. I still intend to go back to school but I don’t know if it is in January 2014 or September 2014. As long as I do something meanwhile, I am good and happy.

The Power of Positive- Small celebrations

Hi dear readers,
Now let me begin my boring post with saying how much I missed writing for the last few days. But, this time has been so incredibly difficult (life complications). Anyway, so today happens to be a beautiful day and I thought it may be the perfect day to share something I read today.

As a result of my withdrawal from the outer world my mom had been so worried at the beginning of this year she gave me “Chicken Soup for the soul Power of Positive” as a New Years gift. Of course,I  was meaning to read it but never got around to it. I did today though.

So there was a certain chapter where the writers wants us to celebrate small things that we usually tend to ignore. Now I really have much deeper issues like debt, academic problems that I really don’t see any reason for small celebrations. But then I realized I have been so blessed to get a few weddings and birthdays as photography assignments  here and there DESPITE having a VERY basic camera.

Oh and then today, I paid $100 towards my $600 credit card bill (which was originally $300 but interests doubled it up). So now, I still have $500 to pay towards that card and many more to pay towards other debts but it is a step right? And I believe this will be the beginning.

So I thought of celebrating this with my readers, who would probably understand my situation best.

Why I am not “fit” for a regular job

So today I am sharing with you my deepest secret ; I am not capable to work a full time job or anything that requires me to work under someone. Don’t get me wrong, I am not bossy or arrogant. I just very sad when people talk rudely to me or show attitude. That happened with me at KFC and I immediately quit. I never regret quitting KFC. I knew at that point I was right but I could make income with that job today. Anyway I am not sad or anything but I reached the conclusion I am better off working as a photographer or makeup artist. Although I will be working for someone but it won’t require me to work under someone for a long time (freelance though).

Coming to a more realistic version of my story ; the truth is my basics are met. I do need to worry about paying the bills ( I do about my credit card though) , paying the rent and buying groceries. I live with my mom and I am still not off to college. But sometimes I wonder if I have it too easy?

I know someday when life throws lemons at me and all these responsibilities throw themselves at me I might have to give up and go and work “under” someone but that day scares me and I honestly don’t want to ever face that day.

You’ve to understand my roots though. I come from a family where when I mention their money isn’t my money they start yelling at me as if I’ve committed a sin by even mentioning it.

Sometimes I think I am too dependent, I wish I wasn’t so vulnerable! But I feel secured, I know worst comes worst I will go with $0.00 on my bank account and still have a shelter over my head,will have food and a loving family. So at the end of the day, I am blessed.

love my IPad Mini

After a good debate with myself, I decided on an IPad mini. My sole intent was iBooks with illegal books and a big screen! I love this thing, and I am giving my opinion on this ! To begin with I am not at all knowledgable about technology but all I care about is convenience.

1. The size of the mini is awesome! The IPad is too big for me. After reading with the Kobo Mini , this is amazing for me.

2. Convenience : I use a MacBook Pro and an IPod. So having an IPad is just another addition to my apple family of tech. But that’s not the point, I don’t have to connect the USB and load photos (thanks to photo stream) and I can use this to write out documents using pages!

3. iBooks! Enough said !

Count your blessings !

I am thankful for

1. For all the good things
2. For all the hardships , because it only makes me stronger
3. For the extra weight I have gained , it means I am able to eat well
4. For all the times my mom supported me
5. For all chocolates , desserts I eat
6. For all the times my culinary skills impress others
7. For all the times I have made good decisions
8. For listening to my heart though I knew I might regret it later
9. For letting me repent the things I shouldn’t have done
10. For the people I have
11. For the people I meet and the way they inspire me
12. For making my life easier through technology
13. For giving me things I want
14. For helping me choose my destination
15. For all the times I hated people around me , only to realize I am alone when in need
16. For giving me people who love me unconditionally
17. For the best cat in the world
18. For letting me be a mother
19. For giving me every joy one could have
20. For keeping me healthy
21. For keeping me away from sickness
22. For making me fortunate
23. For helping me
24. For family
25. For life
26. For my hair
27. For my senses
28. For my food
29. For my happiness
30. For my sadness

So grateful!

I am immensely thankful to God for saving my life yesterday, giving me another chance to live my life and he yet again proved I am his special child. Thank you God! Our car met with a terrible accident yesterday. My mom was driving, my brother was at the front seat and I was at the passenger side of the backseat. Katy’s cage was beside me.
To be honest, when that car first hit us I was only worried about Katy. I knew God would take care of us but her cage broke but I was relieved to find her safe.
She did get scared, but she was at her best behaviour for the rest of the time while we were getting our X-rays done.
I am so lucky to have survived yesterday. I am so thankful for a shot at life.