Time is a healer?

Few of my readers requested I do a “how to get over a parent’s death” post. I do not intend to create any misconception, however, that this post will “heal” your pain. The ones who lost their loving parents or a parent know how grave the wound is. Nevertheless, it is not impossible to move on. When I say move on, I don’t mean you can forget and move on but you can certainly remember and move on.

How to deal with a parent’s death?¬†

1. You lost someone you spent your entire life with. You’ve lost someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Accept it. You have to know that they are not going to come back. You have to understand that by crying, hurting, you aren’t doing any good. They say that the deceased is lucky to be gone because they are in a better place. Your faith in religion, God might be different. Your views may not be the same as everyone else’s. But you have to know that they are not going to come back. If you have to survive here, you have to pull yourself together. (Remember) every parent only wish the best for their child. Do the EXACT same thing you would do if your parent were alive.
2. Stay away from memories .. My biggest mistake was I would always surround myself with people who would cry, remember, and mourn the loss of my father. That didn’t go very well for me. I remember my dad, everyday, every second but when I came to terms with the loss I adjusted better but the more I go near people who are a constant reminder of the loss I cannot deal with it.
3. KNOW that parents forgive. I did MANY wrong things after my father passed away. My spiritual self always reminded me of how disappointed my father would be if he were alive. But, please remember that you’re not going to be able to change yourself over a course of days. it takes time. Sure, certain actions of yours would not please your parents but they wouldn’t drive your parents to go away from you.
4. Drugs make it worse. DO NOT TRY TO SEEK HELP OF DRUGS. I have seen people seek help from drugs to forget their pain. The only you’re ruining is yours. Physically, mentally ..drugs will only cripple you.
5. Good things will come along. I always tell people who are upset ,” someday everything is going to be alright”. Things may look rough today but you will get better. Things will get better.
6. You will be stronger. I have been through my fair share of personal problems over the course of 19 years and today, I am stronger than ever. I know my experiences will only help me achieve the best in life, the best life has to offer.
7. Time will help you “deal” not “heal” .
8. Make them a GOOD memory. Always try to remember the good things they’ve taught you. The good things ¬†they have done for others will only help you be a better person.

Loss of a loved one

Today marks my father’s second death anniversary. Two years ago, 20th February, at 6 am my mom answered a call telling her my father passed away. My mom screamed ” what will happen to my kids?” and hung up. I will never forget that day. A part of me knew it was true but a part of me knew he was no longer alive. If anyone told me that day , two years to that day I will be writing about it on a blogpost I would never have believed them. That phone call, the news, my mom’s loud cries and my brother’s teary eyes are still clearly visible to me in my memories but I try to be as strong as I can.
Whoever said that “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” was absolutely right. I became really strong. I know now that I will able to face any obstacle that comes my way. My father and I were really close. I never imagined what life would be like after he was gone. He was young too, he was 50 when he passed away and I was stepping on the 17th year of my life.
That is when I knew I was going to cry a whole lot, I was always going to miss my father and I am helpless because I cannot do anything to bring him back.
The last two years after my dad left was difficult. I was always under the pressure of living up to my dad’s expectations. I have not been successful yet but I know that if I am alive there must be some reason behind it. I know that my dad’s death didn’t kill me I was meant to be much stronger than I thought was.
I wrote this blog post today because I know as I am writing this , many people around the world are losing a loved one. But, time is the best healer. While you will not completely heal, ever, but you will learn to control your tears.
My dad was the best dad in the world. He was a liberal parent and always thought that the best way to be good parents to your kids were by being their friends. My dad, my friend, my best friend and my a huge part of my life – I miss you dad. I hope that wherever you are today you are happy.